Winter-time in the TBC

Takapuna Beach Cafe

22 The Promenade

Takapuna

Ahhh, Auckland's majestic Northern Shores. At it's epicentre an eatery of some repute. We'd heard good things, and eaten here once before, and been very, very impressed. You may remember the proprietors from such other cafes as The Richmond Rd (and apparently at least two others on the East side, and therefore irrelevant).

We bowled up at late morning Saturday peak-time and got a table for two with minimal fuss. Initial service was prompt and efficient. It had later deteriorated... More on this soon.

B took one for the greater-good this round and copped the Benny with Lemon-Cured Salmon, the cafe plate yardstick. I was feeling rather rash, and brazenly ordered the Lamb's Liver with Muchrooms (sic - peace to GG Verr). The Benoit was pronounced excellent, if not slightly dominated by the Salmon, and came on what seemed like house-made bread. The Liver was shit. It's flavour took me back to my childhood neighbour's basement laundry. I attempted to put a brave face on and soldier through it, but I was overcome. Don't get it twisted, I'm all for the nose-to-tail movement, (not to be confused with arse-to-mouth movement - something else entirely) but if you're going to fuck with offal, you'd better come correct. Innards feature quite frequently on the TBC's menu, Lamb Kidneys and Chicken Livers also available. If what I had's anything to go by, it's for the sake of fashion, not flavour.

Most of the liver was left on the plate, and we decided to order another round of their excellent Lattes to wash away it's taste, along with some of the Macaroons B'd been admiring over my shoulder the entire meal. Along came our coffees, a bitter, burnt glass of dirt compared to our firsts. But no bikkies. We waited. And waited. And then waited. The abundant staff were too engrossed in rearranging the batchy furniture and knocking over carafes to pay us attention. Eventually the Macaronnier appeared, with a tricolore of tiny morsels, a plate for each. Such accommodations were a tad grandiose for such a bland yawn-fest. The Coconut was the pick of a bad bunch, distinguished only from the others by the actual coconut on top (B'd actually asked for Coffee, not Coconut).

This trip was a major Boner Killer. And at $75 for two, it's certainly an (ha!) Expensive Breakfast. Our first kai-time here been so good, I was ready to rave about the place. But, as I'm sure Ted Henry has probably said, you're only as good as your last match. We left with several bad tastes lingering. We'll be back. But, for now, TBC's a Miss.

PS. The TBC is actually officially called the TBC and Store, offering, amongst other things, Pic-a-nic Baskets, but this internet web-log is not called Expensive Picnic.