The Piha Cafe

The Piha Cafe

Don't know the address, but it's the only cafe in Piha. Not hard to find.

B: "Why do you need a cafe in Piha?"
A: "For fucks like us"

 

The locals weren't into the idea of having The Piha Cafe. I wouldn't want Marc Ellis opening a cafe in my town either if I could help it. But somehow, someone got consent and The Piha Cafe opened. Sorry locals.

We jumped in the car and headed to Piha to watch our friend play an eclectic DJ set. How hip of us. We decided to check out this Piha Cafe that we'd seen a couple of reviews for. I can't say we'd drive to Piha to have breakfast on the regular. MAYBE Titirangi. But Piha is just a big winding road too far.

So we arrived at the cafe, found parking fairly easily (aka. right outside). Walking inside, I spied a number of "themed features". You know how much we love (try-hard) themes in cafes. There were bean bags around a low coffee table outside. Who is this for? Surfers? Do surfers like bean bags? Do they chill out after surfing a gnarly wave? I saw two women trying to eat their breakfasts whilst sitting on the beanbags, and they looked ridiculous.

The outside tables were ping pong tables. Nice idea, but poorly executed.  Between these, and the cutlery in old food tins, the lights with old Agee Jars as lamp shades and the zany "bach-like" atmosphere it was trying to create, no wonder the locals were so against it. It wasn't very sympathetic to the modern pavillion-style house that it was, and was all a bit too much to be honest.

Moving on, we ordered some food off the somewhat limited menu, although we didn't notice the specials (stylishly written on surfblackboard) until after we sat down as they were quite out of the way. I got poached eggs on toast, after being uninspired by anything else, with a side of rosemary potatoes. The male got french toast sandwich with banana and pecan, accompanied by a vanilla yoghurt and grilled bacon.

The bacon with the french toast was amazing. "It was thick, had caramelised bits on it and just was really tasty," says the male. The french toast was made from brioche and the whole dish was quite nice, but the vanilla yoghurt was slightly over the top.

The poached eggs were well cooked, although the potatoes were too many. I got almost half a bag of potatoes, and they weren't roasted long enough, still slightly hard on the inside. So yes. Good eggs, but not amazing.

Now, for the coffee. We both ordered lattes and they were both disappointing. At first we were terrified, as we had spied a couple drinking coffee from a schooner (flashback to Kokako). But our lattes arrived in a respectably sized glass vessel. They weren't horrible, but they weren't very exciting either. Bland coffee is worse than bad coffee. At least you can taste bad coffee.

We're with the locals on this one, and it's a miss. To be honest, they're probably being half assed because they have the market cornered in Piha. Maybe the locals should start a cafe with good home cooked food - they're half way there with The Piha Store. In fact, if you want great coffee, go to The Piha Store instead of the Piha Cafe.

In conclusion: "Just a hodge podge of things that were done better elsewhere."

Reviewed by B